Tuesday, May 20, 2008

“Outside woman” laid off

“Outside woman” laid off due to rise in cost of living, fuel pricesWeb Posted - Fri Apr 25 2008, Barbados Advocate

This letter serves to officially inform you that with immediate effect your services as “outside woman” will no longer be needed. Due to the recent increases in the price of fuel and the continued escalation of the cost of living, it has now become increasingly difficult for me to continue supporting two women (namely you and de wife). Therefore, following a recent board meeting (namely an ultimatum put forward by the wife), I have now been forced to cut staff.

Since the wife say that she ain’t gine no way and has threatened industrial action, after careful deliberation and a meeting with my Financial Manager (de wife) and Human Resource Manager (also de wife), a decision was made to lay you off.
I am sure that you would have realised that over the last couple o weeks I have not been utilising your services as much and you havent been seeing me too regular. It ain’t so much that I didn’t want to pass and give you a shout, but de gas prices girl, de gas prices, and you know that piece o’ old car I got from the time I back it out the garage it does want something to drink.

Moreover every time I pass by you, you does always be in some kinda difficulty, when it ain’t your gas bottle that just run out, it is the light bill now come, when it aint the gate door want fixing, it is the fella who cut the grass waiting on me to get pay. And when I tell you that things brown you does got your mouth push up in the air and ignore me the whole night.

Plus de wife say that regardless of how high the prices get she ain’t cutting back for a soul (especially you), she gotta look better than you when she step out this house, so every weekend she at the salon getting she hair fix up, and getting the fingernails and the toe nails spray paint. When she done I still gotta buy rice (which gone up), chicken (which gone up), flour, fish, lard oil and butter (all which gone up), which dont leave nothing much for you.

Furthermore, even though you were able to assist me in certain areas in which the wife was deficient, I distinctively remember you informing me when we were finalising your job description, that you will not be washing my clothes nor underwears, you ain’t pressing, you ain’t turning cou-cou, nor tending to lame foots. You said them was duties for my wife and children, plus you say that you ain't want no man sleeping in at you, so by a certain time at night I used to have to brek for home. Well I brekking for home for good.

I therefore take this opportunity to thank you for all services rendered in the past and do wish you continued success in your future endeavours as an outside woman. I am sure an outside woman with your experience would be an asset to any hen pecked husband, and I would be more than happy to provide you with a letter of recommendation should you require one.

Once again thank you and good luck. See ya!

Loraine St. Aimee - Clothing DesignerSt. Aimee Designswww.myspace.com/staimee http://staimee.hi5.com

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Saba


White and green gingerbread houses
With latticework of years gone by
Tiny old ladies sitting in their doorways
fingering fragile stitching
Verdant mountains gaurding hostile bays
Children's laughter echoing throught the air
Clouds billowing o'er tempestuous mountaintops
Moss covered stones protecting hidden fauna
Flowers galore with smiling facesflanking precarious roads
Fisherman bringing in his catch
While the sun still hides its' face
All around is beauty personified
And the feeling of time stood still permeates
To this, the land of my birthI shall someday return
with the hopes of peaceful dreams
At last
Ah Saba
My Unspoiled Queen!

Rosevina Halley

Caribbean (St. Maarten) Slang Definition

Look for black sheep before dark: Make hay while the sun shines