A Clean Getaway
I’m sure that you’re familiar with the term “petty thief”, yes? Well please allow me to submit a brand new connotation: “Pity Thief”: A burglar who gives one cause to feel pity or sorry for, i.e.: The Pity Thief stole the clothes pins from the washroom.
There’s a reason for this condescension, as for the second time this week our home’s been hit by the crime wave that is slowly finding a foothold in our community. A brave and “Pity Thief” took it upon himself to boldly trespass and abscond with the laundry detergent and dishwashing liquid that I negligently left out on the porch last eve. This is the second daring robbery this week. Two days ago, the detergent, coffee creamer and black pepper were victims to this thief’s treachery. I dare say the fellow or fellows appear to be clean lads. I’ve dubbed this larcenous gang The Soapbox Bandits.
I feel that a neighborhood watch should be put into effect, what’s next? The Clorox, perhaps? I sit in dread anticipation of their next audacious endeavor. Maybe I should await their arrival and offer the use of my washing machine, so that I might be left with some detergent to do my wash the following day, then again, maybe not.
I cannot imagine this bandit’s reasoning. Should these events be taken as a shrewd ruse to make me assume this fellow to be a timid thief? Or are there some dark ulterior motives to these irrational pilferings?
Or could this be our reputable utilities & water provider’s way of making sure that less water is being used in light of our “water shortage”? (See Aug. 14 post). A conspiracy theory you say? Perhaps, but I guess only time will relieve me of these questions that have me tied up in knots.
I leave you with fair warning to lock up your cleaning supplies come nighttime, you never know, you could be the next victim of The Soapbox Bandits!
There’s a reason for this condescension, as for the second time this week our home’s been hit by the crime wave that is slowly finding a foothold in our community. A brave and “Pity Thief” took it upon himself to boldly trespass and abscond with the laundry detergent and dishwashing liquid that I negligently left out on the porch last eve. This is the second daring robbery this week. Two days ago, the detergent, coffee creamer and black pepper were victims to this thief’s treachery. I dare say the fellow or fellows appear to be clean lads. I’ve dubbed this larcenous gang The Soapbox Bandits.
I feel that a neighborhood watch should be put into effect, what’s next? The Clorox, perhaps? I sit in dread anticipation of their next audacious endeavor. Maybe I should await their arrival and offer the use of my washing machine, so that I might be left with some detergent to do my wash the following day, then again, maybe not.
I cannot imagine this bandit’s reasoning. Should these events be taken as a shrewd ruse to make me assume this fellow to be a timid thief? Or are there some dark ulterior motives to these irrational pilferings?
Or could this be our reputable utilities & water provider’s way of making sure that less water is being used in light of our “water shortage”? (See Aug. 14 post). A conspiracy theory you say? Perhaps, but I guess only time will relieve me of these questions that have me tied up in knots.
I leave you with fair warning to lock up your cleaning supplies come nighttime, you never know, you could be the next victim of The Soapbox Bandits!
